loadsa thoughts & feelings...
im getting to like MI alot better... though it cannot be compared to aj... everyday, im looking forward to de journey to sch though itz long; looking forward to meet my og & classmates; looking forward to learn new things... & of cos hanging out at de lib & singing with yihuey & zhixuan. haha. felt dat i'd put in my heart & soul into class activities, like de upcoming total defence skit & de yr 1's entrepreneurship project. well, everything except for school work since i really do have alot to catch up...
though life seems to have gotten better... but something is still missing... bAnD lIfE... life is so incomplete & unbearable w/o band... though i did join de angklung-kolintang ensemble. but still, it isn't de same. these 2 days' practices, whenever dey warm up, i'd recall de days in band... even when we're setting up de stands... felt like crying somehow.
& im gonna flunk my maths test. afta de test, i was looking extremely low spirited dat zhixuan kept on consoling me... *disappointing* i promised myself i must revise & practise all de things taught consistently, till i noe de subject inside-out though it's only de first 3 mths. i hate to let myself down. it's just terrible. okay... who likes to..?
yest. i was feeling all mixed up... again i've problems understanding maths lecture since mr lim is now on modulus (sth liddat) & i asked yihuey & zhixuan loadsa qns again. sth inside of me is yelling to me dat i cannot take As... i should heed yihuey's advice & be realistic -- to forget about aj. & to just go pursue music cos even if de pieces are extremely hard, i'll still find it challenging (in another words, very optimistic) & will definitely play my very best since i think dere's nth dat cannot be accomplished in de music field. this kinda feeling has never happened academically.
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apart from school...
on 25th jan, me diana & weekiat gave siewmay a surprise by appearing at her door step at 12 midnight with 4 small cakes (since it's de day afta 2 days of cny break, no cakes are available. luckily breadtalk did sell those small onez.) i know it's mad but i love giving ppl bday surprises. esp this yr. wan guo huo liaoz. hahaz. we stayed till 1am. sorry to have disturbed ur family, siewmay. we actually wanted to just bring u downstairs & celebrate.
den we catch de movie, magic kitchen, in de afternoon. some parts, i don really understand la but it's not bad... den again, we proceeded to take our neoprints & this time it's de baddest exp ever... kinda messy & de frames & stuff not very nice loh...
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i was surprised dat i went shopping myself picking my frens' gifts... i still remembered i felt so alone dat 3 hours... no one to ask for opinions & suggestions... walking arnd city hall's 3 major shopping malls. *unbelievable* i do like to spend some time with myself at certain times to do some reflections, thinking... but, i didn't expect it to be when im shopping... de journey home is as bad...
haven't got her a prezzie yet. but, played a bday song for her a few mins past 12am. does dat count as a surprise? was glad dat i'm de first to wish her! *proud of myself* ;)
going to book stores to get her a french learning kit this coming week, since she wanted it. *cross my fingers* dat i'd be able to find.
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today when i came online, weizhen asked me whether i've gotten back myself into one piece. haha. thanks for ur concern... i think i'm feeling better liao. hopefully history doesn't repeats itself when i return to sch this coming wk.....
somehow, i look extremely glum & lost afta each lecture/tutorial. esp when it comes to maths. haiz. i still cant get it. & now mr lim is oredi on partial fractions. de worst thing is, he'd be giving a test on de topics covered on thursday. *prays real hard* i've oredi given yihuey & zhixuan alot of problems liao. oways ask dem qns. *apologetic* very grateful dat dey didn't complain & had de patience to teach me. i think im losing faith in myself. everyday afta sch this will come to my mind:" im not suitable for an a level education... just look at my maths!"
once, i met wanxuan (a member from my OG) on de mrt. asked me how i was coping & told her my probs with maths. to my surprise, she's got no a maths bkgrnd at all... just like me... yet she's doing fine with all de tutorials & assignments. was extremely... *inferior*
anyway, some days i ago, i just realised dat i could take AO maths (which is equivalent to Additional Maths) budden it's for de arts stream. *sigh* i don't mind taking arts, but i'm afraid dat i can't cope with wad de other ppl've learnt during de 3 mths. moreover, my cousin discouraged me from going into arts since she's experienced it for herself.
amidst all these things..... im thankful dat eric (kor) had managed to make me laugh till pengz on msn.
i wonder how he can haha for so long, throughout de entire chat. i cant stop laughing... think it's bcos i imagined him laughing "live" in front of me. de next time i see him, he'd be treating me andersen's icecream liaoz... yay! haha! *slurpz*
can somebody just pick me up at de lost & found..?
whatever happened to me... i feel so lost... again. somehow this month hasn't been really gd for me... been feeling rather..... helpless...
i remembered one day a week ago when i broke down in de mrt... just couldn't control myself... think it's just another "emotional explosion" which i termed when something similar happened last year. but dat was understandable. at least i know why i was in dat state. but not now.
...
anyway, happy chinese new year to all~ gong xi gong xi~
"ming tian hui geng hao..." it'll be better tomorrow...
happy bday weekiat!
today went to bugis to celebrate weekiat's bday. hmm... actually it's meant to be a surprise celebration... our plan A was to rush into de aj band room afta deir band prac & shock him by presenting de cake. haha... budden... mission inaccomplished. bcos heard he had to rush back to vs for alumni prac for de feb's concert. plan B was to ask weixiang & friends to bring him to parkway parade afta deir prac & we'd celebrate for him dere, w/o him knowing. again... cant be carried out. since dey intend to play bball... budden luckily, weekiat's going to support desmond (singing performance) at bugis afta his prac. so phew~
weekiat arrived at bugis at quite a late hour. by den, desmond oredi finished his performance. so, we proceeded to swensens... & weekiat blur-ly followed. he kept asking, "so wad are we going to do? wad are yall going to do to me?" hahaha... he was like, "huh?!" with dat fake shocked look upon knowing our plan... hahaha...
in de end, we decided to juz buy de swensens cake & celebrate it at mac donalds... everyone was practically staring at de 15 of us while we sing de bday song... but hopefully weekiat is happy. think he is ba... we bought him a wallet... quite ex la. budden as long as dere's a "home" for his money & cards... we don't mind. hahaha. & wad's more so many ppl celebrating with him + dat delicious cake...
so dere was this pathetic last piece of cake left... we played "zhong ji mi ma" & unfortunately weekiat hit de no. 86 & had to lick de cake...
aftawhich we went to take neoprint. well, it's our (siewmay, weekiat & i) "tradition" dat we should take neoprints on our bdays... no matter wad... even if de shop threatens to close & not let us take... luckily we had 8 $1 coins & dat one of de machines is still on... i think de shop attendants got no choice but to wait for us to finish... de photos turned out very gd... & of cos... our shocked looks were oso very successful...
when i reached home it's already 11+... completely drained... + im quite sick... had some probz with my throat & breathing airways... de doc said im close to asthma... gawd... so no air con, no cold drinks for me...
ok de worst thing dat ever happened yest night was... de lifts of almost every towers were out! & de doors to de staircases can only be opened from inside to prevent trespassers from entering. luckily one of my neighbours helped us open from de inside... & poor me... had to climb 17 storeys to reach my house & 1 more staircase to my room... was really giddy when i reached my room...
[MI]sjudgement
actually MI isn't dat bad afterall. (maybe yes -- "physically") i've even considered staying in MI de past few days...
firstly, i dint take pure sciences & additional maths in my secondary school. therefore, i've difficulty understanding c maths especially. thanks to yihuey for teaching me when i have problems with c maths. oh & jasmine too! dey're so nice! heez.
sciences (physics & chemistry) is currently alright... but i wonder if i can still cope with dem for de nxt few mths & wks.
secondly, science practicals aren't my forte. & since we're doing de A level pracs on assessment basis... i think 3 yrs would be better for me...
i'm still in de process of considering... cos i don't know if i want to take A levels... since it'd be 3 yrs. *contradicts herself* arghz.
u see...
what if i still can't manage to get a full-cert at de end of 3 yrs?!
go to poly for ANOTHER 3 yrs?! *slaps her head*
but i've another reason of not going to poly & should take de A levels instead...
i won't know if i'd want to switch jobs in future since poly gives u a very specific scope of subject to study on to prepare u for de workforce... & it'd be extremely difficult to switch jobs. i mean... u won't know what u want exactly at this point in time... well at least for me la... kinda risky. i don't know if my theory is right... dat when u take ur As & proceed to Uni... ur job scope would be wider... maybe if u're reading this... u may wanna tag at my board n gimme some opinions?
*clink* something struck me... i still can't get rid of de "i wanna go AJC" mode...
as u can see... my flow of thoughts are jumbled up... help me will ya?
first day in MI... *sigh*
haven't been online for de past 3 days... & may not come online for another 5 days & so on... been staying over at my aunt's house cos MI - toh tuck campus (previously known as JI) is nearer. & when i'm at home now... i spent most of my time lying on my bed... hahaz!
well my first day dere WAS extremely... *speechless* & IS going to be de same for de nxt 3 mths. it's really stuffy in de hall. & there're about near a 1000 students stucked in de going-to-collapse hall. that's precisely wad de principal said. & de teachers dere are very blunt i'd say... "all of u cannot enter JC so u came here for the first 3 mths right? i believe most of u are most probably people who studied last minute for ur prelims & Os so u ENDED UP HERE..." arghz.
but then, de student leaders & councillors dere are very friendly la... & i know a handful of friends from my orientation group. a very close one is geraldine from beatty secondary. a very sweet & nice girl. glad knowing her. most of de people in my group esp de girls would be very promising women who could lead people very well in future. can see from de way dey work with each other in coming up with cheers etc...
anyway, most people shared de same sentiments at MI... some even escaped from de school during de lunch break. *sigh* but i must admit de later part of de day was a little teeny weeny bit better. i think it's cos my group is starting to become more active. oh ya... i find de SLs & SCs at MI really good at dancing... dey demonstrated
deir very own dance & eveyone was like "WOW"... but then... de dance abit too... *loss of vocabs* uhm... u know how guy+girl do de slow dance... hands on waist & shoulder dat kinda thing... maybe we aren't apt to dis kinda thing la... call me swa-koo. haha.
anyway, u'd be surprised to find students from premiere schools in MI... like RI & RGS...
good old gracious lord... when are dey going to start lessons? i aint in de mood to play orientation games... i mean we're already grown-ups... or somewhere dere... we have loadsa opportunities to interact with each other during our tutorials, don't we? & orientation needn't be 3 days ba?
anyway, choosing de courses is giving me a headache. not bcos i've loadsa options but bcos i only have 4 choices & i donno whether or not i should choose econs... *sigh*
de only thing dat brightens my 1/2/04 is de journey on de bus with ajcsb to & from UCC & de yodogawa concert... it was fantastic! awesome! *geez*
