woke up with swollen eyes & a painful heart..
a week flew past just like that. a week that began with smiles.. ended in tears. but i thank god for giving me friends who stayed by me, & comforted me. many thanks to diana, siewmay & weekiat.

i didn't attend school today. didn't want to go to school with my eyes like that. and i am quite sure i couldn't concentrate much. nevertheless, i regret for not going to school, as the time passes by.. i'm always looking at the time table.. physics lecture for 2 periods.. gp maths chemistry tutorials.. *sigh*

i didn't do much at home. practically locked myself up in the room. went out thrice to bring in my breakfast & lunch; to watch tv so as to avoid the images of what happened yesterday night, to appear in my head. haven't talked to my parents eversince yesterday night. guess they didn't want to anyway.

"hey look! what school is that?"
i wore the mgs uniform on tuesday & unexpectedly received some stares from people on my way to school & home. like i'm some sort of an alien or something. i overheard a girl who's schooling in aj for these 3 mths (cos she was wearing aj's badge) saying, "wow.. this girl's from acjc.." & i was like "oh man.. i'm not.." i was like so envious when i saw de aj badge she was wearing, yet she on the other hand felt the same way as i was wearing an acs badge. well, all anglo-chinese schools wear de same badge u see. & since i was wearing de mgs u with de badge, she assumed i'm from acjc.

& if u're wondering why i'm wearing an acs badge instead of de mgs one.. well, all de mgs girls i approached don't seem to have an extra badge.. so i have no choice but to lend it from my classmate who's from acs, their brother sch.. or else they'll start nagging at me again.. cos if u were to wear their u, u gotta wear a badge.

i still love their uniform anyway, despite having so many probs with it.

i also received some comments from my classmates. hafizah said i looked cute. hahaha. hong jing said i looked punk? donno why also. maybe cos de blouse is too big for me..

here is one of de shots taken with de help of jessica..

& thanks to charmaine & audrey for lending me de uniform.

anyway, our class won de 1st runner up title for the skit competition. we lost to 04SC. it's disappointing, but at least we got into the top 3. *grinz* we won ourselves a food hamper. there's "champagne" which i think, doesn't taste very good.. but some of them said it's ok.. & a tin of butter cookies + a box of chocolate biscuit. de biscuits were delicious. *slurpz* had a gr8 time makaning our prize 2gether during breaktime.

Happy Friendship cum Valentines'!
yesterday was a fun-filled day. performed our total defence skit as our class was one of the five finalists amongst all de 3 streams of pre-u 1 classes. *hurray* & i played 2 roles: a tree & child. haha..

it turned out very well & de audience had a gr8 time.. laughing? our class is really bonded. proud to be a part of 04S5. *grinz* all our tutors praised & congratulated us for our successful performance. *smiles even wider* results for this skit competition would be announced on nxt thursday. wish us luck!

everyone was so sweet yest. esp our class.. most of us brought prezzies.. chocolates.. sweets.. while yihuey zhixuan & myself gave out pink roses to de girls & mint chocolates to de guys. bought de roses on tues at far east flora (thomson). very special kinda rose.. cos it's smaller-sized. den went to thomson plaza & got de flora paper & silver strings to wrap it manually.. so sweet right.. hahaha.. spent quite alot of money & time.. but everything's worthwhile since it's for our class. ;)

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side-track
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b4 cuming to my house on thurs to wrap de flowers & de mint chocolates.. yihuey zhixuan & myself took neoprints at causeway point.



heez. nice ba..

anyway, de sweetest thing dat happened was, amarit received a huge prezzie from gapilan.. woo~ haha.. den everyone was like, "open..! open..!" during our gp lesson in de comp. lab. she did. under de wrapper was a lovely box.. heart-shaped design.. in it was a furry "puppy". den everyone was teasing gapilan.. haha.. cos he's so unfair.. gave as "time-out" chocolates only.. :p

oh.. b4 i forget.. thanks to yihuey & zhixuan for de gifts.. =)

"it's not the presence of someone that brings meaning to life. but it's the way that someone touches your heart which gives life a meaning."

where to head from here...
*rejoices* finally.. i've a rough idea on wad exactly i want after visiting de poly open houses. ngee ann & singapore polytechnic had their open houses this wk.. so MI is kind enough to dismiss all de Pre-U 1s earlier. *yay* a blessing in disguise. cos other JCs dint give an early dismissal.. like CJ, YJ etc.. simply bcos de principal (YJ: ex-principal of RGS) believed dat girls should stay in JC..

anyway, first day yihuey zhixuan & myself went to ngee ann.. since it's near to our sch.. haha.. another blessing in disguise.. :p yihuey & i walked dere, ok..

as i went to ngee ann b4, we went by de back gate (sort of a short-cut) & felt strange since we dint see de expected large crowd.. so, we proceeded to their food court.. was really relieved to see dat dere's a veggie stall.. after eating, went to look for zhixuan, den realised ngee ann very happening.. de crowd is actually at de convention centre area.. de newly-renovated convention centre is.. magnificent.. (0_0)"

got some brochures & info from de different schools dat set up their stalls.. was particularly interested in mass com.. talked quite alot with an award-winning student.. & found out dat some actors/actresses of moulmein high & lightyears are from ngee ann too. i particularly like this course not bcos i can get to noe de stars & become one or sth liddat.. but i've liked to write scripts since primary & secondary school.. & i actually have some "award-winning" ones.. haha.. one of dem is de total defence sketch for de band.. we won back our challenge trophy.. luckily, i've got enthusiastic actors/actresses.. or else this wouldn't be a success.. *smiles*

moreover, i love to write.. like now.. & i've always wanted to become a deejay.. though some of my friends teased dat dey won't tune in to my channel since when i become very quiet at times.. dere's nth interactive to listen to.. *sobz*

anyway, yihuey stressed dat this course is very competitive.. i agree with her. with an intake of 200.. & so many ppl applying.. "demand is overwhelming, but supply is few.."

well, i'd first look at my Os results.. if my english grade is between a1-b4, i'd give it a try before considering JC.. dat is IF my results are good.. kinda impossible actually..

anyway, de same thing happened to yihuey & myself at SP.. argh.. oways end up in deserted places.. we walked for almost an hour before we reach de convention centre. by de time we finished touring de booths, it's oredi 445. consequently took a shuttle bus to de school of business where we're entertained by de tourism management students.. very cheerful & approachable ppl.. love de course too. but i hate poa. heard it's juz a repeat module of wad i've learnt in sec sch.

den, we explored de media studies studio.. when i went in.. i was like, "WAH" *awe-struck* so cool.. den 2 of their students answered our doubts & shared alot of stuff with us.. we stayed there for almost an hour.. de gr8 thing is there weren't any ppl in de studio.. we had it all by ourselves! *grinz*

den gwen directed us to de nearest bus stop from their building.. think we're de last to get out of SP.. had loadsa fun anyway..

admittedly.. after having in mind wad courses to take when i go poly.. something kept flashing/haunting/revolving in my head, "AJ.. AJ.. AJ.." it'll take time for me to completely give up.. many ppl asked me why i don wanna choose nyp.. dey've gd facilities; dey're nearer to my house etc.. well, cos it's SOOO close to AJ! i noe it's de stupidest reason u've ever heard. but i don wanna look so depressed everytime i go to sch..

& i guess NP & SP's my more preferred choice.. though initially i didn't really like de idea of getting into a poly.. cos.. environment-wise.. it's really very different. but like gwen (she spent 2 yrs in acjc & now oredi in de 3rd yr in sp) said, "de environment would still be de same as poly's when u go to Uni.. yes it's true dat in JC, u've got sch spirit, & u feel more bonded as a sch.. but this isn't de most impt. ultimately, u needa earn a living in future.. & what's de use of studying subjects that aint gonna help u much in future though u study at a higher level..?"

i suddenly felt dat dere're more ppl around me who had went thru As & poly but preferred poly education.. gwen aint de first.. is it a sign from god dat i shuld consider a poly education..? *doubts*

..results are gonna be out very soon.. *gulpz* all de best to all..!

"soledad... it's de keeping for de lonely..."
have u ever felt too alone dat u don't know what to do with yourself?

although u've friends spending endless time with u, u find that u never tell them what's deep down inside of u. even if u did want to, u'd think that they aren't the best persons to talk to afterall.

now, i realised why mdm nim said that an important marriageable trait of ur life partner is to be empathetic.

after finishing the korean drama,"my love patzzi" yesterday night did i realised that, it is de person who's there to feel in your shoes & provide u with the emotional support needed, that is the most important. this triat is called, empathy.

after talking to my 2 friends who're concerned about my school work & future plans, did i realised that i was wrong to tell jiewei that sharing your problems with a friend is the same as sharing it with ur partner. bcos, friends can only feel sympathetic. (at least that's what i've concluded for now...)

after thorough thinking during & after dinner, i realised that, it's difficult & almost impossible to find a friend who actually understands u. i feel that i badly need a friend who really listens, instead of debating with me on what i should do.

maybe, that is why we need a partner in life. bcos only ur life partner is willing to do what ur friends can't, since love is unconditional..?*sigh*

guess i haven't exactly sorted out what's on my mind. there's too many things going on in there... that i lost myself at times.